Monday, March 3, 2014
My honeybear went back to work today. He had taken a week off from work to take care of me. And he was wonderful. Except for a few small things. I'm not getting a break from the constant question "are you alright?" and I'm now getting up to do things myself. He fussed at me for not moving around enough and then wouldn't let me get up to get a glass of water. But it was nice to be so well cared for.
I hadn't lost any weight when I got home from the hospital and for a couple of days after. So I've decided to move my scale into the guest bath so I won't be tempted to beat myself up about it and I've decided to only weigh on Sunday morning. If I forget, the next week is soon enough. I've done years of self flagellation about things I don't do right. Enough is enough.
I was exhausted when I got up this morning and went to the grocery store right away because the weather is supposed to get bad and I needed a few things. When I got home I napped and I think I'm ready to move a bit. If anyone says weight loss surgery is the easy way out, they are nuts. It is a good tool to help get control of my body but the ultimate control is mental. Working on that.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Since I have gained so much weight, I have looked in the mirror every day and been truly disgusted by what I saw. Totally disgusted. I have a good relationship with my sig other and he says I'm pretty. I'm gratified to know that he thinks I'm pretty but I still don't. And sadly, my opinion of myself colors all aspects of my relationship with him and with everyone else. And, in an effort to feel better I've bought enough clothes and jewelry to outfit several women. I have so much of both that I can't keep up with them and stick to uniforms-wearing the same things all of the time.
With the weight loss surgery coming up I am wondering how the changes will affect my psyche. I would love to think that I'm prepared for the changes and I am spending a lot of time reading about and learning about the aftermath. I think one of my goals is just to feel comfortable in my body just once in my life. That would be nice.
Friday, February 7, 2014
Thursday, February 6, 2014
One thing I am certain of is---- this is not an easy weight loss fix. There is no such thing as going to the doc and getting fixed. The surgeon gives out tools to used for weight loss. Surgery, diet, exercise, etc are needed. You notice that surgery is only one part of the equation. Without it the other parts haven't worked and with surgery only the problem of excess weight would still exist. So I've spent the last few months reading and learning. But the most important thing I have done is to visualize myself having an active old age. I do believe that is the thing I have wanted most in my life. An active and interesting life. And the surgery is one of the things that can help with that.
I've seen so much on the pinterest web site and on the blogs. I've always been drawn to boho and ethnic dressing. I have a ton of clothing for that purpose. It's hard to believe that I will shrink out of them within a month or two. So when I do post pics, maybe you can remember that a skinny model wore a top ten sizes too big. So I'm not alone.
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
I've been having more trouble getting around. More pain. I'm just grateful that I'm able to get around.